Broken Kid dot com

Flipping through the cable channels on his massive, state-of-the-art television in BK HQ, the Broken Kid caught something that was mightily disturbing. There, for all the world to see, a man was talking about the end of the world.

We’ve all seen these things from time to time when catching fire-and-brimstone preachers on Sunday mornings after a long night of drinking and debauchery or when flipping through the numerous cable access channels that are taking a break from showing artistic porn. When the medium isn’t trusted, it’s easy not to trust the presenter.

But this was not cable access, friends. This was CNN, and the clip was caught again (who knows how many times it was replayed) during prime time. The Kid has no patience for this sort of claptrap, but he caught a good five minutes or so before holding back his vomit and changing the channel. And assuming the clip didn’t end with the man saying “psyche!”, it goes to show how no media outlet these days can be trusted, when all the media wants to give us is extraordinary sensationalism instead of real news.

The diatribe this man was putting out went something like this: We’re already in World War III, and now Biblical prophesies are coming to pass. The leader in Iran is planning to bring about the end of the world by fostering strife in the Middle East and softening up Israel so Iran can move in to wipe the country out. And it’s all planned for August 22, which is apparently some holy Muslim day that commemorates Muhammad flying to heaven on his winged horse or something like that. And the Iranian president has already said he would wait until that day to reply to the world’s demands to shut down his country’s nuclear efforts.

It’s amazing how quickly the mainstream media moved to declare the battle between Israel and Lebanon as World War III. Sure, other countries are getting involved – in demanding peace. The issue is, of course, that the world sees Israel as the United States’ 51^st state, and since most of the world (and all of the Middle East except for Israel) hates the US, it would be easy enough for the world to get pulled into the crisis and take sides. There’s one thing the media forgets: no one wants to get into a war, at least none of the major powers do. Other than extremist governments, these countries are trying to avoid one. Makes sense, right?

In fact, most opinions state that there would never be another World War. This type of conflict would require more than one super power, and since the US holds most of the military strength in the world, it’s hard to imagine serious challenge, unless, perhaps, the rest of the world stands up against the US. And as long as the UK stands with the US, it’s highly unlikely that will ever happen.

So let’s not assume we’re in World War III, and let’s put aside for the moment that August 22, which commemorates some nighttime flight on a horse, is synonymous with cataclysmic events. We all know Iran wants to destroy us, and it wouldn’t be out of hand to think the country would take the rest of the world with it (sort of like one giant suicide bombing, right?). Let’s instead focus on the bigger issue: this is what CNN is presenting to its widespread audience as fact!

The Kid is reminded of the Heaven’s Gate cult, whose members committed suicide during the passing of the Hale-Bop comet, because that was when the world was going to end. Through the years, numerous “prophesies” have pointed toward particular dates as the coming of the end of the world. Remember 6/6/6? Remember the furor around January 1, 2000?

The Broken Kid doesn’t give much credence to these “momentous” dates. He’s convinced, anyway, that the world – or at least mankind’s role in it – will end the way it did in 28 Days Later: with the government unleashing some virus that turns people into flesh-eating zombies, who will devour all the survivors and eventually die out on their own, and we’ll all be studied three million years later by whatever lifeform ascends to the most intelligent and powerful on the planet – probably cockroaches.

In the meantime, let’s all step back and gather our wits about us and take a deep breath. Realize that strife in the Middle East has been going on for centuries, and there will always be strife based on their fundamental religious differences and beliefs. And there will always be some type of war, thanks to despots and – yes – world powers such as ours. And there will always be people telling us that the latest conflict or event is a sure-fire sign to clasp your hands and put your head between your knees.

But when the mainstream media starts preaching the end of the world … well then, my friends, it’s a sign that the media is no longer mainstream. It’s a sign that there’s no longer any worth in trusting a media that preaches supposition and faith-based theories. It’s a sign that we have to start thinking for ourselves.

So do what you’re probably already doing: block CNN and Fox News (especially Fox News) from your cable network and unlock the porn channels for your teenage children to enjoy, and start getting your facts from reputable sources. If that reputable source is the Internet, or alternative free newspapers, or the third-party candidate for your school board, use your own judgment. Don’t believe everything you hear… especially if it’s presented as fact.

They’re 5 miles high
As the crow flies
Leavin’ vapour trails
Across a blood red sky
Movin’ in from the East
Towards the West
With balaclava helmets
Over their heads
YES!

But if you think that Jesus Christ is coming
Honey, you’ve got another thing coming
If he ever finds out who’s hijacked his name
He’ll cut out his heart and turn in his grave

Islam is rising
The Christians mobilising
The world is on it’s elbows and knees
It’s forgotten the message
And worships the creeds

“It’s War” she cried
“It’s War” she cried
“This is War!”
Drop your possessions
All you simple folk
You will fight them on the beaches
in your underclothes
You will thank the good lord
For raising the Union Jack
You’ll watch the ships sail out of harbour
And the bodies come floating back
Watch the ships sail out of harbour
And the bodies come floating back

If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
He’d be gunned down cold by the C.I.A.
Oh, the lights that now burn brightest
Behind stained glass
Will cast the darkest shadows
Upon the human heart
But God didn’t build himself that throne
God doesn’t live in Israel or Rome
God doesn’t belong to the Yankee dollar
God doesn’t plant the bombs for Hezbollah
God doesn’t even go to church
And God won’t send us down to Allah to burn
God will remind us what we already know
That the human race is about to reap what it’s sown

Islam is rising
The Christians mobilising
The world is on it’s elbows and knees
It’s forgotten the message
And worships the creeds
The world is on it’s elbows and knees
It’s forgotten the message
And worships the creeds

Armageddon days are here again
Armageddon days are here again
Armageddon days are here again
Armageddon Days Are HERE!!!

- The The, “Armageddon Days are Here Again”